Peer Review by Ellenrbnsn (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

On the Water

By: Mgracel

PROMPT: Everyday Magic

They laughed and they cried- but mostly they laughed as they soared over the waves in this magical place. A place where they were strong enough to live freely. A place that only existed until the sun set. A place where a simple high five could lead to so, so much more.

Peer Review

The greatest strength of your piece is the emphasis on the magical aspects of this place.

Your piece has a very light, relaxed tone that creates such a mood.

"soaring over the waves" adds realism to the peace, while still adding magic. Picturing the waves is an element of realism but "soaring" adds the idea of flight, therefore magic.

Reviewer Comments

First, let me say I loved your piece. However, I am unsure where this place is, and your piece lacks the everyday aspect. While the mystery adds more to the magical sense. it does little to help the everyday sense. Maybe expand with more description to allude to where this place is, and describing is something you seem to be very excellent at. You use strong verbs, and even with so few, you still create a great picture! Excellent work! Keep writing!