Peer Review by neo7v (United States of America)()

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


STOLEN

By: francesflem16


FREE WRITING

The white water swells,
                                   the wave breaks,
                    peaks and troughs.
The poem floats,  
                words stolen by wind
             writes a story in the sea
        warmth, 
            I cannot feel
laughter
                        Am I deaf to it?
                                    Distant, 
                                        the shore
                                                  far
                                                     away.
And all that is left, 
                    fragments
                                   phrases, 
reunited into:
            warmth
                            seeps through a 
splash of laughter
                dripping as 
           the pebbles                 swim.

I wanted to play with form and punctuation so I took my poem beach and adapted it to form this poem. 

Peer Review

I am absolutely delighted by the style of the poem! I always love when a writer uses spaces and formatting to emphasize certain words or phrases.


You might deepen further on feeling left with the narrator after everything is stolen. You touch on it a bit, but not enough to get the reader emotionally invested in the piece.


Reviewer Comments

Overall, I really like this poem! The formatting worked well to bring an impact to the poem. I believe you just need to add a bit more to the poem to bring the reader in. Thanks for writing this!