Peer Review by PalmLeaf (Thailand)()

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STOLEN

By: francesflem16


FREE WRITING

The white water swells,
                                   the wave breaks,
                    peaks and troughs.
The poem floats,  
                words stolen by wind
             writes a story in the sea
        warmth, 
            I cannot feel
laughter
                        Am I deaf to it?
                                    Distant, 
                                        the shore
                                                  far
                                                     away.
And all that is left, 
                    fragments
                                   phrases, 
reunited into:
            warmth
                            seeps through a 
splash of laughter
                dripping as 
           the pebbles                 swim.

I wanted to play with form and punctuation so I took my poem beach and adapted it to form this poem. 

Peer Review

This poem is so beautiful and captures the emotions that the writer wants to convey perfectly!


I think this is great as is. Poetry is much less restrictive than other forms of writing, so you're free to play around with it as you like.


Reviewer Comments

You are such a talented poet! This poem gave me a really warm, serene feeling. I can't wait to read more of your work!