Peer Review by Teaston (United States)

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Defying Death

By: Cinnamon


I would be lying if I said dying didn't hurt. It did. It really did. Especially if you get thrown off a cliff and you are drowning in below freezing water. I wish I could say my last thoughts were something heroic or powerful, but honestly, it really wasn't. 5 years ago I had gone down to hell to convince Death to come back and claim the overdue souls. We were doing a good job, except for the fact that during a fight I had been shoved off the edge of a cliff. Now Death was not happy with that. I could hear someone screaming in pain.

I don't know if I was supposed to pity them, but I really didn't. Don't put the sociopathic sign on me just yet. The person who was screaming had been alive for thousands of years and he had taken dozens of lives. I'm just going to say this now, he deserves to die. Now, where were we? Ah yes, me dying.

For a split second, I thought that rocks were going to cut me into pieces. Luckily for me, there were no rocks at the bottom. Instead of slamming into rocks I slammed into a sheet of ice. I fell right through and I couldn't even get out a scream. Water was already filling my lungs. I tried to swim up, but it was too cold. My limbs had gone numb and my insides felt like ice. I went limp and let myself fall deeper into the ice.

I knew I had broken at least half my bones in my torso, but I was too tired and hurt to care. I just wanted to die and fast. You can't swim with broken ribs and numb limbs. You just had to wait until your body gave up or something devoured you. I wanted a painless death, but what I got was what Death would use as a torturing method. And speaking of Death I could see him at the surface.

Before I could tell what he was doing, his hand was around my wrist. His hand was warm. I had little feeling in my fingers, but I was able to grab onto him. He pulled me out, while I was on the verge of dying.

"I won't let you die," he says, placing his scythe next to me.

"I don't think that's how it works," I mumble, not letting go of his wrist.

"I am Death, honey. I decide how it works."

"You're an idiot," I softly laugh. I immediately regret it.

"Don't move," he slides his hand under my neck to make sure my head didn't move. "This might hurt."

My body started to warm up. I could feel my ribs mending themselves. Then the heart started to burn. I groaned as it got hotter. The cold ice under me started melting. I looked at Death to make sure everything was alright. But it wasn't, he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at someone else. 

A huge shadow was stalking towards us. I grab Death's free hand and squeeze it. He quickly looks at me and moves his hand away from me. I slowly sat up as he got to his feet. Everything felt fine like I hadn't fallen off of a 50-foot cliff and slammed into solid ice.

I picked up his scythe and stood up, taking my place next to him.

"Who is that?" I ask him, quietly.

"Someone who wants to kick my ass," he whispers back.

"No one is allowed to kick your ass, but me." I grip the scythe.

"Don't you dare, Sarah." His voice sends a deadly vibe. I didn't care.

"It doesn't matter if I die. I'm coming back with you either way."

"It's going to hurt."

"I don't care."

I walked ahead of him, towards the stalking figure. The scythe in my hand began to burn, but I just held it tighter. I swung at the figure. It barely had time to dodge. I had cut its stomach, pretty badly. That didn't stop it from lunging at me. Before I knew it, the figure was attempting to overpower me.

"I am not letting him take me," the figure hissed at me. Using the base of the scythe, I shoved him upwards. I scrambled to get out of his way when he landed on the ice with a thud.

"He's not going to take you back," I said through my teeth. "I am."

After he gets to his feet, he glares at me. "Who do you think you are?"

I just smiled at him. That was the last thing he was ever going to see while he still had his soul; my unnerving smile.

Message to Readers

I think I am going to start a story about Death and Sarah. (Who later becomes Life.) I'd love some ideas to kickstart it. Credits will go to the respective person.

Peer Review

At first, I thought this was a miraculous survival story, and then it turned out to not be that. Pretty cool piece of work though.

I'm not sure that there would be anything else I would want to know.

Reviewer Comments

This is a pretty good piece of fiction.