Peer Review by bibliophile (United States)

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Science and Poetry

By: A Certain Type of Decisive

They say,
The scientists, I mean,
That energy can neither be created nor destroyed,
Just transferred into other forms.
So I have reason to believe
That the air is full of words
Still traveling,
From destinations unknown to here,
So much we can't hear,
Because the sound waves move so far from each others,
So low of a sound,
The hairs in our ears don't move.
But biology is unpredictable,
Just because our ears can't hear
Doesn't mean nothing else in our body can.
The problem
Is that even if you build a cell,
Atom by atom,
Protein by Protein,
It still won't work.
They say,
The people, I mean,
That those are souls, energies, the Breath of God,
So they have reason to believe in something bigger,
But I believe the air is full of words,
And ideas are just arrangement of all the words hitting our bodies at any given moment
The energy is transferred.
The cycle is completed.
But we still don't understand.

Message to Readers

Maybe it's time to see what we left behind, my friends, the lost words in the forest are coming for us in the night, as dreams. Dreams are the only difference between us and the Void, for the Void can't tell the difference. Forgive me, my darkness, but you know not reality, continue this trek through the shadows.

Peer Review

This piece didn't strike me so much as an experience, but an idea, an opinion. The science-defying idea that our words are traveling is the main idea of this piece, and I found it to make an interesting story concept.

Your descriptions are good, but somewhat vague. What can you do to really make the reader understand and feel what is going on in this piece? Try to use all five senses.

Reviewer Comments

Love this piece! The main idea is awe-inspiring and science-defying. Keep writing!