Peer Review by David Levitsky (United States)

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Colors among dust

By: svictoria


FREE WRITING

The sky was painted in the mixture of coquelicot and pale lilac as the blase sun sank behind the city. It looked absolutely breathtaking with the horizon wrapping around the mountains dressed in white spots, that illuminated all the streets and roads where a big part of the upper class lived. No wonder why, I thought. Barely a few minutes passed, but the lights already multiplied, and it felt like I'm watching a precisely created painting that clearly allured to a sophisticated life. It was the most beautiful sunset i've seen in a long time, and so I was accordingly amazed. I sat next to the window, watching the beautiful landspace and I devoured every piece of it, hungrily, to the point, where I felt it surrounding me, and I almost believed I was there. I belonged there, again, like I never left. But as I looked behind my back I reassured myself that I'm still in that broke flat that had nothing nearly as pretty as it's view. But that was enormously gorgeous. As i was watching the mansions from afar i realized that i probably have a prettier view than they do. All they saw were the tenements and sparse trees but it was still such a tiny sacrifice for a life so convinient. I craved for it, oh so bad. The memories in my head were crystal clear about the times when I lived on an estate as huge and incredible as theirs. I could easily recall every detail of the last home I had, right before I lost the already unsure life that my 12 year old self had. 
I sighed, and looked away. There's no use of remembering. 


Peer Review

"The sky was painted in the mixture of coquelicot and pale lilac as the blase sun sank behind the city". The amount of detail that you put into this sentence is breathtaking. The description of the sky is as vivid as it gets.


Longing and contentment at the same time.


Is this scene based off of a landscape that you've seen in your own life?


Reviewer Comments

You truly have a gift for descriptive writing. Your opening sentence is amazingly vivid, and throughout your piece you paint an amazing picture of the landscape you are writing about. Going forward, maybe a way to change up the flow of your piece if you wanted would be to add line breaks, especially at moments where you start sentences with "But". All in all, great work on this, and I hope to read more of your work soon!