Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Fireworks. Something I've always liked, but never wanted to watch for the entire show. The colors in the sky are beautiful, yes, but they get old after a while. However, I always force myself to stay for the entire show, just to watch and marvel over the grand finale. Although many people have many different opinions about fireworks, I feel like one thing is the same in most of those opinions. They aren't worried that death is just around the corner, at least, not death from lack of oxygen. Well, I was one of those people. I still am, to be honest. I don't think that fireworks are a very big source of air pollution. However, I still found this piece EXTREMELY meaningful. The way that you turn an innocent thing like fireworks into something terrible is something I feel will mean something to everyone who reads it. Maybe it's just me, but even if so, take pride in knowing that your piece changed me, woke me up, meant something to me. Because it truly, truly did.
You have BRILLIANT word choice in this piece! The way you used fireworks, something beautiful, enjoyable, and seemingly harmless, to portray how REAL pollution is despite the fact it is easy to ignore, was clever and moving. The words you used throughout this piece are what make it so meaningful.
I love this piece SO much! I honestly can't even tell you how much this piece meant to me. I wouldn't change a thing about it, it's already so meaningful. It struck me as a wake up call for humanity. It beautifully written and worded. This piece should honestly be read at an air pollution conference or some big, important event about conservation. Amazing job, keep writing!