Peer Review by Phoebe L (United States)

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dying weeds

By: cakesofwrath


PROMPT: Quartet

The hair on his chin lay like dying weeds, though not for lack of trying, and he rubbed his palm across it as he slumped in the dying light and waited.


Message to Readers

word choice?


Peer Review

I think your metaphor of facial hair being like dying weeds is unique and interesting. The phrase "though not for lack of trying" is a bit ambiguous -- it could mean that he has tried to shave them off, or if following the metaphor, as if the dying weeds had tried their best to be alive. I think the vagueness of this phrase is cool, but maybe could be a tad bit more clear in its meaning.


Why doesn't this character shave his face, or grow a beard? Is he stressed forgetting to shave? What is he waiting for?


Reviewer Comments

I thought you created a very vivid image in such a short amount of words. I would definitely like to hear more about this character. I also thought you did a good job with your word choice. Thanks for writing!