Peer Review by singaporeandreamer (Singapore)

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this is me

By: Sayo


PROMPT: Open Prompt

Sometimes, I feel as though I am a pebble, watching as people’s lives and time flow by
Other times, I am a drop of water, so easily transported and changed by the current

Who am I?
I know not
Today, I wish to touch the stars
Tomorrow, I may seek the depths of the ocean

Time runs past
Forgetting me along the way
Sweeping me off my feet

The clock ticks faster
And the hands stand still
Grasping onto nothingness

Who am I?
I know not
For I am neither my success, nor my failure
Neither my ethnicity nor my gender
My sexuality and my name
My past and my future
My hopes and my fears
Oh! No! Those cannot define me

And yet I do not understand
What should define me
Who am I?
I know not

I wish to love
I wish to caress the figure de la vie
I wish to hold you, oh my sweet darling
And yet how can I love you
When I do not even know
Who I am

I wish to cling tight
Inhale every second of this limited existence
And yet I turn
Slowly but surely
Into ashes
Into dust

Oh! Look at me go
Here is comes;
So it goes

Who am I?
I know not
 


Message to Readers

This is my first piece of writing on this website. I appreciate constructive criticism. Thanks!


Peer Review

the narrators lack of identity, and her attempts to find it.


i think it’s the constant motif of contrast that emphasises the narrator’s constant flux of identity, and therefore brining across the theme of a lack of self more clearly.


nope! this poem was crystal clear in its delivery of its message!


Reviewer Comments

for a first time piece this was amazingly written! keep up this standard of writing and you’ll go very far!!! :D