Peer Review by bride124 (United States)

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I Wonder

By: RachelMarie


FREE WRITING

I wonder, do the moon and the stars watch us down here on earth?
I wonder, do they turn their heads away in disgust?
I wonder, while they shine down through all of the darkness, if they want to know, is this worth it? 

I wonder, if the flowers grimace as they churn their heads through the dirt?
I wonder, if they breathe in a sigh as they surface?
I wonder, if as they get plucked from their hard earned spot in the ground, they think, is this worth it?

I wonder, if the rain shivers and shakes as it falls, wishing that it could have stayed in the clouds?
I wonder, if it cries in pain as it hits the cement, and runs over nails and white washed fences?
I wonder, if it asks in dismay when it finds that the dirt has come back again, is this worth it? 

I wonder, if nature watches us make our mistakes and shakes its head?
I wonder, if it wishes we could learn that life could be simple?
I wonder, if it wonders if we ever think, is this worth it? 


Peer Review

The title and the repetition of I wonder. It gives a light-hearted yet mellow effect, that makes me thoughtful with a hint of sad.


Where do you come up on such questions?


Reviewer Comments

I would advise you give more detail and better word choice sprinkle some new vocabulary) but overall, it was cute and youthful, so it was very pleasant.