Peer Review by hmkeselman (United States)

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Words

By: Flowing Ink


FREE WRITING

I liked to speak.
Words could tumble out of my mouth
Without any hesitancy or an second thoughts
Though there probably should have been.
I could ramble on for days
About an interesting looking cloud
Simply because I had not ever grown out 
of running my mouth.
But now I falter
I find myself thinking were none is needed
I stare at the persons eyes as I speak
Waiting for the light of attention to wear down
Or to notice the glazed quality on one's eyes
When they don't care.. even if it might not be there.
I fail to be articulate
My thoughts coming out as jumbled hand gestures 
And garbled sentences.
I cut myself off
With abrupt pauses and long silences
Smiling awkwardly with a mumbled
"I forgot what I was going to say."
I still have moments of innocence
In which I ramble with no qualms
And ofter say the wrong things
That make the chains I have on my thoughts
Grow ever tighter
And yet
Even with a filter
I still cannot have certainty
In my own sentences.
I often sound insincere.
I am only insecure.
I don't like to speak.
Yet I do.

 


Message to Readers

Any feedback at all is welcomed and appreciated.


Peer Review

I liked how similar it felt to my own life. I like to talk, and I never know when to stop. I like how there is a clear progression, albeit sad, throughout. The poem has an arch to it which is appealing to the reader.


I would like to know how abrupt this change was. It seemed sudden, but was it more gradual? Adding a trasitional period between talking and silence would enhance the writing and strengthen that arch.


Reviewer Comments

Couple of grammatical errors, but good job!