Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
you first drew me in with your really interesting title. the constant strong contrast between the online world and the real world in all its glory, is brilliantly shown.
don’t be hooked to your phone; go out and live your life to the fullest and explore to the world.
i was persuaded by a lot of the contrast the writer presented, offering more pleasant alternatives to the monotony of digital world. i was also shown very emotional scenes which appealed to my feelings and would’ve made the argument more persuasive
perhaps the writer could show the downsides of immersing yourself for too long in the digital world, instead of just showing us the upsides of NOT using our phones and the digital world?
i felt that this was quite well done in terms of an op-ed. it definitely showed me that not all op-eds have to use cold hard facts and statistics in order to persuade the readers, so well done!
i was quite taken with this piece :D
all the best for your writing!