Peer Review by Harlow (United States)

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Dying

By: Puppet_Master


FREE WRITING

Walking around, head held high
Tears stream inside
Outside I fake a smile
How are you? Oh I’m fine
I’m not, I’m dying inside

The lies I say to keep people happy
Breaks my heart and tears my skin
The world is black and white, I see no colour
Everyone tells me the world is beautiful
Is it really? Or is it their perfect lives?

It’s summer now but it doesn't show
I wear pants and jumpers every day
Despite the long scorching days
To hide the scars my body has accumulated
To hide the pain I have caused

I’m broken and scarred
No one can help me now
I’m too far shattered.
The pieces everywhere
No one can find them
To glue them together


Message to Readers

This is a piece that I used for an Assignment.


Peer Review

I relate on another level to this piece and it’s actually one of the greatest things I’ve read describing (perhaps) depression.


The suspenseful lack of detail is spiny tingling and quite frankly, gave me goosebumps.


Reviewer Comments

Maybe consider italicizing to symbolize duality. Other than that, perfect.