When I was sixteen I auditioned for the Governor's School or The arts with five of my best friends.
As a vocalist, it's a huge stress to be singing in preparation for an audition as well as singing in classes.
When we got our letters, we all opened them together. Out of the six of us, I was the only one who didn't get in.
I cried for weeks because I worked harder, and tried harder for that audition than anything ever before.
My parents saw how much it affected me, but they didn't know what to do.
They found me a flier for a christian music camp.
I went as a songwriter and lyricist, and that's when my life changed.
His name was Jackson. He had deep brown eyes and a smile that would stop your heart.
And he was hurting, just like me.
I hear a voice call my name
Across the crowded cafeteria
I see my roommate with a guy
He was so handsome
I looked into those deep brown eyes
I saw myself in him and
he recognized it too
Everyone around could tell
Just how quickly we both fell
I looked at him and my chest swelled
I could tell just how he felt.
We spend the entire week together. Every meal, every concert, every late night jam session. He knows me better than my friends I've known for years, and I know him. He loved me without condescending to me. He understood my brokenness, and my shame. He felt the same way. He was the first guy to ever hold my hand. My first kiss. My first slow dance. That truth I saw in his eyes has made me stronger these past few months. The truth was, he saw someone beautiful, and broken, and knew just how to fix them. Jackson loved me for myself. My scars, my fears, my insecurities. I loved him for the same things. Our pasts were so similar it was terrifying. He lives 976 miles away from me. He has no phone, no computer, and no way to contact me, but I know he still loves me. I can feel it in my very being, and when I see him this summer at camp I still want to love him too. But for now he must stay safe in my heart. This is day 245 out of 525,600 minutes. I will love him for the rest of my life. Although I won't really ever see him again. I will only see those memories. Jackson died two months after the end of camp...