Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Any type of constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
I love fantasy girls leading rebel armies.
I want to get to know Juniper more! Right now the only thing we know about her is that she's angry at the patriarchy.
How do I say this? Basically....it feels like this is a rant rather than a story. Don't get me wrong-I love a good rant, but there's a time and place for everything. Since it seems as though this is going to be a story with multiple parts, maybe you can show us the aggravating patriarchy of this kingdom over time, instead of throwing it all at us here.
It feels like you've thrown us straight into the middle of a story here with no preamble whatsoever. Can you lead us in more gently?
But I am totally here for it if you're going to write a story about a girl who leads a rebel army of women.