Peer Review by BrainDeadWrites (United States)

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Talking

By: Lottie McCallum


PROMPT: Open Prompt

I used to be a very talkative child,
I could speak for hours on end,
Not taking one, single, breath,
Words spilled out my mouth like a full bath,
Babble, Babble, Babble,
I often wonder what happened,
I can talk in a classroom:
'And so when you square 9 you get 81...'
I can talk onstage:
'How did you dare to trade and traffic with Macbeth..'
I can talk to myself:
'Honestly why cant you just function like a normal human?'
But no longer
I can talk to others,
I can watch their thin lips move up and down, in and out,
An endless ocean,
I can see their animated eyes,
Swimming with the story of 'that time they went on holiday to New York',
Their words fill up my ears like a cup,
But when their wide eyes look at me as if they hope I'll say something normal,
As if they are rooting for me, not ridiculing me,
Eagerly waiting a response,
I'll say 'Yeah totally',
Or look back at them blankly with an expression as vacant as a blank canvas,
Crumbling inside like the mean notes they pass to me when I see them turn to their friends,
And laugh.
 

This is my second draft, big thank you to Katie Jezard for all the amazing tips and feedback! Any more feedback is greatly appreciated.

Peer Review

This piece reminds me so much of myself, it's crazy! And the poem is amazing! You're such a talented writer!


The imagery is amazing! The different kinds of figurative language is also very impressive! You used intelligent wording, instead of words like, 'Good' or 'Ok'.


No way! I love this piece just the way it is!


Reviewer Comments

All i can say is, keep up the fabulous work! You have a whole lot of talent! I can't wait to read more!