Peer Review by Suri Purefoy (United States)

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A Far from Perfect Utopia

By: mitchkdoan

I am nothing but a mere high school student that's doing what every person has done at this age. I work in school, practice, sports, and of course do what it takes to get into a preferable college. I feel, I believe, and I know that I am the center of the world. And being so privileged makes me forget that I am not the only person in the world dealing with problems.

As we know Brussels has been attacked today by an act of terrorism. And this isn't the first time something of this nature has happened. As we recall months ago Paris was attacked, and the list continues back into history. Why?

As a society and as individuals we have made no progress. Humanity as a whole is corrupted by the few. Religions as a whole is corrupted by the few. Why is terrorism occurring now in 2016. Although I am still a young high school student, I can not be the only person who sees such acts unnecessary and completely useless in our world. What good does this bring to the victims or even the culprits. Living in a perfect utopia is not something that I consider a possibility, however after the thousands of years we humans have lived on this earth, I can't imagine learning from the past is something hard to comprehend.

During these times it finally seems that each and every country has figured out a way to live in unity. We pray, we support, we provide for those in need. However, any other time, our world is back into the naturally survival of the fittest mode. We continue our lives with war being a possibility at any time. Even the candidates running for president feel the need to tear the image of their opponents rather than lift their own.

I might only be a high school student but I know that right now our world is to focused on hate. I am not saying that there should be no conflict in our world for that would be nearly impossible and too much conformity. But what message I am trying to illustrate is that we can't continue in the trend we are pursuing right now. We can't let anger or hatred or envy or even fear run the world as it is doing right now, but we must be able to live in a world where violence is not the solution.


Peer Review

The topic of Brussels. When I was told about the bombings yesterday, it tore me apart. I hope that people read your piece so that that can be brought to their attention.

Your argument is strong and effective.

That you chose a topic that has affected so many people around the world, and that you have incorporated having world violence not a solution to our problems.

No, I think it's amazing!

The structure is strong and your words are personal and true.

Thank you for writing this! It was beautiful that you had the courage to write this, as so many do not. Thank you for expressing your opinion and doing a great, non-threatening way of it! You're an fantastic writer and person!

Reviewer Comments

Inspirational and true.