Peer Review by A Breath Into Silence (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Wishing for a Miracle

By: Wicked!


FREE WRITING

It happened for the first time when she was in the queue at the billing counter of the only supermarket in our small town. She was as healthy as ever but had suddenly fainted. At that time, we had all attributed it to fatigue. I knew that what she needed more than anything else was a vacation. But of course, I didn’t mention it–we could barely make both ends meet, and a vacation seemed like a distant dream.

That incident was quickly forgotten. But it happened four times that week. That is when we realized that it could no longer be dismissed with a wave of the hand. After a series of tests at the city hospital, it was revealed that she had fourtht-stage blood cancer. The doctor grimly told us that nothing could really be done.

That was a month ago.

She was cremated yesterday. No miracles here—even though I was desperately wishing for one. Life isn’t, after all, a fairy tale. No Genies or Fairy Godmothers appeared. No wishes granted. She just died peacefully in her sleep.

The night before she died, she held my hand and told me that she had no regrets. “You know very well that I never really wanted to live till a ripe old age”, she said. Well, that was true. But still…

Circumstances might have matured her, but my daughter was, after all, just twelve years old.


Peer Review

The way you phrased your sentences really hit me hard.


I walked away from this story satisfied. But was the narrator the mother or the father? (idle question)


Reviewer Comments

This was a sad short story! I really liked it (even though it made me really sad)!