Peer Review by bibliophile (United States)

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A Girl Living on a Farm and Dreaming of Fantasy Life

By: Boogie With Stu


FREE WRITING

A girl living on farm
Chicks hatching in the barn
Cows in the field 
Ducks in the pond
The girl's dreaming to be a fairy queen with a magic wand

Herding the sheep to and fro 
Thinking of a fairy ball
Wishing she could go

She knows there's no fairies
And no ball
But maybe if she dreams long enough 
There will be a charming prince
Come to save from a wicked witch

But then she remembers that her livestock need her 
And if she went to dance on moonbeams 
Sing songs with pixies 
And eat at the elven feasts
She knows that she would dearly miss her darling beasts

So she decided then and there 
That she would stay to give her animals care.  







 


Peer Review

This poem is literally about me. I'm a farm girl wanting to go to a fantasy world myself, so I can totally relate to this piece! I wish I could bring all my livestock to Hogwarts, Narnia, etc!


You might want to add more to your second stanza, which is shorter than the others. Is she thinking of anything else besides the fairy ball? Or anything specifically at the ball she's looking forward to? Great detail on her farm animals, as well as her dream.


Reviewer Comments

Loved this piece! Keep writing!