Peer Review by she_writes (United States)

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Rain

By: bibliophile


FREE WRITING

Patter Patter
That's the sound
You make
On my window
Calming me
Soothing me
Washing away
My worries
And fears
Thank you rain
Patter Patter
 


Peer Review

I love the imagery of the rain going 'patter patter' on the window. I could clearly see that in my head. I was delighted by how you said rain washed away your worries and fears, and loved that you started and ended this piece with the same phrase. It felt very cohesive.


You could extend the idea of the worries and fears, maybe draw a comparison/simile/metaphor between your worries and rain. Elaborate on the relation between the two, or what worries the rain washes specifically, etc.


Reviewer Comments

Maybe this is just me, but you might consider changing your phrasing a bit. Some of the phrases seemed choppy, but then again if that is a creative element don't listen to me! In fact, the choppy sound of your phrases almost replicates how rain falls. Maybe you could change the phrasing a bit to specifically replicate this? Nice going! This is a great poem.