Her breathe quickens,
like they're trying to stop air from entering
She can't breath
Her chest heaves
as the noise of her own thoughts deafen her.
Everything seems very loud and very close and yet very far away and muted and it's all spinning and collapsing around her and she cries tears that add to the whirl pool she's drowning in.
Waterfalls fall from her eyes.
Tears of sadness and shame,
tears of hurting and how come everyone else seems to be fine as they watch me...
Her breath returns,
like lifting your head out of water after too long.
The fear is gone but it is replaced.
A numbness fills her as her peers look on with concern painted on their faces.
Paint that will wash away.
Even though her breathe is back and the fear is gone she doesn't feel right she feels wrong and she can't put her finger on it but it's there and it scares her.
She hears words of worry and judgement whispered in hallways, words:
"Why can't sh hold it together?"
"She should she a professional about that."
"Why is she crying... AGAIN?"
She can't answer those question,
and that only makes it harder.
It's as if every at hour, of every day her thoughts are loud and angry and constant, never stopping, never ceasing, never giving her a chance to just...
But she is strong.
She will not be defined by fear and anxiety and pain.
People love to talk about those dark and scary moments.
But she will not let them.
For she is so much more those moments and she will shine and show the world her strength and will not hide those dark days but nor will she let them change her.
She will be shamed into silence or made to feel like a freak in need of hiding.
Life goes on.
And she will be okay.