bride124
United States
Writing is a big part of me and my daily life. I want to share it with the world so I joined this website. (P.S: I like followers and to do/receive peer reviews)
Message to Readers
By the way, this 50th review will be the BIGGEST, LONGEST review I will ever make! So, I suggest you type away!
14 Comments
A Breath Into Silence
It would be nice to get some feedback on my piece titled "Karin" (https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/104851/version/199017). It's about a girl trying to cope with her own mortality and trying to stay strong. It's been missing .... something..... for a while and I cannot for the life of me tell what! If anybody could help, that would be amazing!!!
Living My Life Through Writing
I really need a review on my piece "All Because Of a Football Game." https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/free_writing/111344/versions/211884
The story is not very detailed and I need some help to figure out what it is lacking. The story includes LGBT+ themes and idea. It is a really good piece but I know that there is really somethings that need to be fixed. It tells the story of two boys in love with each other in their senior year of high school. One is on the football team and the other is an outsider. I need some help to make it better.
|r|A|i|N|
i would really love detailed feedback on "The Piano in His Ears":
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/112598/version/214407
this one is complicated in that the plot is both finished and unfinished; it leaves a lot unexplained and there are probably some loose ends i should tie up in later revisions, but it's also somewhat complete in itself. it utilizes heavy description and tells the story of a boy struggling with depression after his father dies.
thank you for doing this! i appreciate the consideration.
bride124
@AJ-Izzy, your recommended piece sounds very promising. You are one of my leading contenders!
AJ - Izzy
Oh wow, that's so nice of you! Okay, I would love to have a review on a piece called "Suspect Not Found"
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/100946/version/210832
It starts with a determined girl trying to find her friend at a police station, but all records, birth date, everything has disappeared. No one remembers her except the girl. The police and most people think she's lying or is delusional. The girl promises herself that she would find her friend, whatever it takes.
Yeah! I'm hoping to continue it somehow, so any feedback (even if it's not a review) would be amazing! Thanks again :)
Lovegood_24
I would love a review of my piece Anugwa: Prologue
It is about a planet and the people on it and when their world is in danger what the two main characters do (kind of a sic-fi dystopian story). The prologue is one of the main characters writing a letter to his friend as an adult after they were forced to move to Earth and then the reestablishment of their planet. Thanks for the consideration!
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/113756/version/216704
-writinginhopesofsomeday-
I would be very grateful for a review on the piece, "and time moves on, chapter one" or "and time moves on, chapter two", located here:
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/113078/version/215443
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/114776/version/218834
This is the first part of the novel I'm writing, though I'm sure I'll find a better place to start 100 pages in:)
This is very "magic" related, though you won't be able to see it yet. A sentence that I hope to use eventually is:
"At one point, time became nothing and life became everything."
D.B.Quaginn
I would enjoy a review on my short story, "Heroes," at https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/95037/version/180607
It's about a clerk at a bank in a world of superheroes. And supervillians, of course.
I'd love a review.
weirdo
I would love a review on my piece, "The Land of Lost Things--Part 2". Here's the link
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/113264/version/215876
It's a series that i've started about a girl who has lived in the Land of Lost Things, the place where all lost things go, her whole life. She's adjusted to her life until a new person appears, a little girl who is also lost.
I would love if you could give me any ideas! Thanks!
Budding Mae
Ooh, love this idea! I’d love for “3...2...1...” to get a review. :) I don’t really have a solid summary for it (sorry! :/) but here’s the link:
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/110454/version/210302
Juliana
Cool idea!
My piece is titled Equivalent (it’s my second newest piece; I’m sorry I don’t know how to get the links of stuff on my phone).
The prompt was to open the dictionary to a random word and write a story about it (hence, equivalent). I’m trying to make a point kinda about the hypocrisy of society with the story, but it’s not super black and white/good guy vs bad guy, though it might appear that way.
A person
"Something as sweet as a berry can turn as sour as death in the matter of seconds."
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/114695/version/218677
bride124
Thanks for linking your story! Check out my contest #revoke!
Dmoral13
'angels just remind us mortals we never get a chance to fly #sweetlybitter'
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/112780/version/214729
(giving you a summary would ruin it, sorry)
everyone loves it, but i want to improve. i want to know why people like it, but also how to make it better. to me its kinda rough