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davegreen

Singapore

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, I am afraid to disappoint, but my writing is atrocious

heart attack//attack heart

March 19, 2016

After I see her eyes close, after they fail to flutter and open and after she fails to arise and laugh, after I hear the sirens screaming down the street and after I think why am I not screaming, after the blaring background noise fizzles out to my own heartbeat thumping ever so loud and quick as my vision blurs and tears roll down my cheek, and after I open my mouth to breath because all my passages are blocked and runny and I need to breath, after my heart threatens to split at the seams and be ripped apart as I cradle my dear Katy and try collect her and keep her compact in my arms as if that will compel her limp limbs to reanimate, after her brown hair blows across her dainty little twelve year old face and her blue eyes lose their vibrancy staring into an infinity of lights in the bustling city, after the they rip her from my arms and haul her onto a stretcher and after the ambulance rushes with its noisy siren to the hospital, and after my poor baby girl is tossed about like a rag doll from stretcher to stretcher until she is sent off to the emergency room with doctors and surgeons trailing behind, after her surgery, which began with the frantic dance of surgical instruments, hands, equipment over my daughter's dead body, and ended with a slow nod and "time of death", and after they acknowledged her death, after the nurse interrupted my pacing steps as my heart ached as if I had had the cardiac arrest and not my darling Katy who was and is too young to die, after the nurse broke the news, I arrived at the lowest point of my life, and the heaviness in my heart settled; and came to stay.

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  • March 19, 2016 - 2:08pm (Now Viewing)

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