Peer Review by A Breath Into Silence (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

Phoebus Apollo #ADM.Poem

By: AJ - Izzy


The glowing, nurturing light of heaven
light to this mold of water and soil
bleak, dark, deep, empty
full, glorious, beautiful, pure. 

Golden figure in the shadow of the sun
Blond and blue, strong and bold
Singing angel, ruthless devil
Thy Phoebus welcomes the morning. 

Anger coursing in the flying insult
Mortals mighty in their pride and ignorance 
Thunder booms with father Zeus' bolts, arrows fly
Heart of men pierced with clouds of death. 

Sister Artemis, gazelle bound for the hills
Hunters race the woods, feed the wild 
Free, running, roaming, savage
Made for the windy salt in the air. 

Apollo himself flowing in golden ichor
Sings melodies, strumming flawlessly
Mortals, on knees muddy, breaking selves
With sounds of immortal, godly music. 

Father Zeus, king on a mighty throne
Sister Artemis, wild, chaste, and free-flying
Mother Leto, smile of pure kindness

Phoebus Apollo, musician of godly power,
Bowing mortally before the god Greek
Savior, good one, have mercy on us
Slayer of the great Python.

Chariot of the sun, singer of the wilderness
Ode, great Phoebus Apollo
Hero of mankind!


Message to Readers

I wrote this for ADM's contest (yay!) and it is based on the Apollo from the Percy Jackson series, always full of pride and loves himself, basically. This poem is a lot better than his poetry, however, which is to die for (quite literally). Hope you enjoy :)

Peer Review

I loved the way you used imagery and contrast to really paint this portrait of Apollo! You did a really good job!

I would like to know something about Leto. She's the only relative of Apollo who's never given more than a line of description.

Reviewer Comments

Wow, this was a good poem! You can really feel Apollo's personality through this (especially the version of him that appears in Percy Jackson). Your figurative language is great, especially when you use symbolism and metaphors.

Great job!