Peer Review by Vani Desabhotla (United States)

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Bits and Pieces

By: BluMoon


FREE WRITING

It’s the melody you cannot place-
The name on the tip of your tongue-
The smell that reminds you of something...

Colors and flashes-
Half-remembered dreams-
Waking up in tears but not knowing why...

It was important.
You forgot what it was,
But it was important.


Message to Readers

When you get flashes of something that gives you nostalgia but you can't remember what it was- you can't identify the smell, you can't remember where you heard the song before, you know the face but not the name.


Peer Review

"It'e the melody you cannot place-" I think that's something that everyone struggles with. The fact that you opened your piece with it is great!!


Just a kind of calm, I guess. It's a short and sweet piece, about something that everyone goes through.


What made you write about it? I hope its not because you ended up forgetting something...


Reviewer Comments

I really like your piece!! It's short and sweet!! I feel like the line about waking up in tears takes a slightly dark tone, and it would be nice if you could have another stanza just before the end, talking about things like that...I l really loved your piece though!