Vannah

United States

Y'know, I really hope I can pull off the cool mysterious deep writer persona. That'd be sick.

Message to Readers

This is really meant to be read allowed because when sit and read it on the page in my head, it sounds fantastically stupid. Like someone trying to be edgy. Lol I wish I was edgy, isn't that the new trend right now? No, this is me getting a single stanza stuck in my head and just letting it expound itself onto the page. Yeehaw. Thanks for reading.

To Be

May 12, 2019

FREE WRITING

0
Sometimes I just have this strong urge to just go out and Be.
But I'm restricted and confined;
By my thought, my homes walls, rules, my schools boundaries.
Stuck.

So I pour out my life into books and writing silly poems that 3 people end up reading.
But I want more than this.
I want this.
I want all of it.
Is that so bad?
Because if it is, then screw it.
I want to be out at night exploring getting into trouble.

Not to be a rebel, or to break laws. But to see and feel.
To be alone with the stars.
To be alone with whomever I choose.

I am far from a bad kid, or edgy, or whatever it is nowadays.
I stay in my lane, head down, rule book in hand.
But it's tiring.
I am far from malicious, that's not my desire.
But I want,
I want so badly,
to go out and Be.

Tired of the confines of every boundary I meet.
I want to Be.
I'm sorry if that's upsetting, or unsettling.
I am not here to hurt or hinder.
I am here to explore.

Maybe I'm a soft poet, or a dumb teenager.
But labels aren't so bad,
I like to wear them like badges.
I'll be proud of peoples misinterpretations.
They see me how they want.

I build up this empire in my mind of who I am, who I want to be, but then there's always who people perceive me to be.
Well, for once, I'd like to just Be.

Wind whipping my hair I want to Be.
Stars dangling above, I want to Be.
I want to be good enough, I want to be in trouble, I want to be an explorer, I want to be confident, I want to be perceived how I portray myself.

A lot of wants and desires will never be fulfilled.
That's life.
So, I will write and be who I want for me.
The only way to achieve my goal of being this person I want, is to just Be.
And if people don't like it; don't perceive it right.
Then so be it.

I have this strong urge to just Be.
And for once,
I think I will just fall into it.

Teenage angst is like a virus inside your head.
It grows and branches.
But we aren't all rebellious.
Some just want to Be.
Just want to Be in peace.
Without the chaos and confusion of everyone and their magazine telling them what’s wrong or right.

I give up hiding underneath my hoodies, and faking smiles to teachers I dislike.
Too many people I know are vicious behind their confining masks.
I will not let myself get to that.

I am filled with happiness and sunflowers,
I am filled with hate and this burning desire to set everything on fire.
I am so sad that I can't get myself to shower or do wake up in the morning.
I am so scary that I frighten myself.

But I refuse to hide and stay trapped in my restrictions.
I will Be.
Because that's the only way to Be​ okay.
 

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  • May 12, 2019 - 2:07am (Now Viewing)

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