Jenerically Ordinary

United States

I'm a person. Looking to test the waters with this "writing" thing.

Message to Readers

I'd like feedback on what sort of mood you got from this story.

On Special Occasions

May 11, 2019

PROMPT: Returning

3
The children in the backseat fussed, not knowing where they were going. At first, they had been placated with the promise of a surprise, but twenty minutes had passed with no surprise in sight. Various buildings lined the sidewalk: a dilapidated library advertised a book sale as the car turned right on to another road. The two boys were at each other's throats, trying to see who could yell the loudest while the mom drove on. The oldest, who became ten that morning, suddenly stopped and looked back at a playground that they passed and he recognized. With the knowledge of where the car was going, he shushed the other boy, who was only seven, quiet. A glance outside was all it took for the little one to settle down. It had been a whole year since they could afford the time, money, and patience to return. The mother breathed a sigh of relief and pulled into the parking lot of the closest thing the family knew of extravagance. As they walked past the gate, the kids thought they could hear the trumpets of elephants announcing their arrival to the zoo.

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  • May 11, 2019 - 8:49pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • rainandsonder

    the mood here is nostalgic, half-sad and half-happy and laced with bittersweetness. excellent work on crafting a short and simple yet memorable and meaningful story!


    over 2 years ago
  • LittleWolf

    At first, the mood is taught with barely concealed frustration (at least to me) but then the situation diffuses as the children realise where they are and it turns into a bittersweet moment which is really beautiful.


    over 2 years ago