Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I love your subject! You describe an age-old tradition of your family, and you really get into the nostalgia of a family tradition that you plan to pass on.
You included certain details like your grandmother calling your grandfather her "twelfth child" and the fact that you took seven empanadas at perfect times, and they fit in perfectly.
It describes a tradition beautifully. I liked how you explained that the tradition of tamales was only for the first-born girl on her fifteenth birthday and mentioned that the younger children were the ones to seal the empanadas.
I would love to know a little more about how you felt during all this. There is a lot of telling about what went on, but there is not a lot of emotion used. Perhaps go into a bit more detail about how you felt while taking part in this, or maybe how you felt before/after?
Definitely! Your first line is fantastic and it's super interestingly said. I like it a lot. Your title could be a little more eye-catching, but its simplicity is also a plus.
This is a fantastic beginning! I love your subject matter and the specific tradition that you described. I was really brought into the place you told about and could easily picture it in my head.
I would probably recommend splitting up your first and last paragraphs, as they're quite long and could probably stand to be a little shorter.
Anyway, I've highlighted the parts that might need revision (I really hope it doesn't seem harsh or hard to understand! I promise I'm just trying to help. XD).
Again, really great piece! All revision suggestions are highlighted. Good job and good luck in the competition! :D