Peer Review by ruzahk (Australia)

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Food.

By: kylieinwonderland


Four letters that make every connoisseur, every chef, every home cook turn their heads. Four letters that are not just our sustenance but are the livelihood, the hobby, the passion, the literal bread and butter of the existence of so many people.

Food.

Whether a lasagna oozing with cheese and still warm from the oven, freshly picked plums with juice that runs down our chins as we take the first bite, fish and chips wrapped up in paper and taken to the beach, or a birthday cake our aunty made for us, food is more than just a four letter word, more than just nourishment for our bodies.


Message to Readers

This is sooooo not finished yet, but just a rough start as a reminder to keep working on it. I know there's a lot I can improve on in this piece, and any feedback is, of course, appreciated.


Peer Review

I really like how you have set the reader up to analyse the implications of food by immediately dissecting the word itself into four letters.


I really like how you have set yourself up to talk about a variety of aspects in the 'deeper meanings' of food. Even in describing the sensory details of food in the second paragraph, you've still connected it to themes beyond just nourishment. Satisfaction, comfort, as part of an experience, or a gift... These examples tie really well to the themes!


I think the sentence describing the details of different foods is a bit long and could be separated into multiple sentences. Within these sentences, perhaps you could tie a bit more specifically to certain emotions or experiences? This might help to delve your piece into the wonders of food a bit more intensely.


I really like the hook to this piece and I think it's very suited to picking apart the implications and creating a piece of deeper meaning.


Keep it up! I'm really excited to see the rest of this piece :)


Reviewer Comments

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