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Written By: jonae
March 22, 2015
1. I wish you weren't gone.
2. I wish you hadn't met him. Ethan or Eric or whatever. He started this mess.
3. I wish you hadn't let him get into your head and fill it with sweet nothings. Because that's exactly what they were. Nothing.
4. I wish I hadn't gotten jealous. We'd been best friends since kindergarten. We were inseperable until you met him. Then you changed. It was all about his eyes and his voice and all that. You grew distant. Suddenly every bit of your spare time was for him. I got mad. I felt thrown away, so I kept my distance.
5. I wish I handn't kept my distance. I wish I'd still talked to you or maybe even checked up on you. If only I'd known the awful things he'd done to you. I'd have killed him.
6. I wish you hadn't kept it inside. I wish you could've called, texted, Skyped, anything. I wish you could have sent me a signal. Maybe you did and I just wasn't paying attention.
7. I wish that night never happened. I wish I hadn't woken up with my Mom telling me about what what happened to you, about what you did to yourself. I wish I didn't have to sit in a courtroom and watch him, the person responsible for all of this, fiddle with his fingers and not give a single crap about how your blood was on his hands. Thank God he was guilty. He deserves to rot.
8. I wish there wasn't still pain. I wish I still didn't wake up crying. I wish that I didn't have an emotional breakdown everytime I heard your name or passed by one of the places we used to hang out. I wish it didn't still burn. At least not so much.
9. I wish I had more to remember. More memories. Better memories. Not just the ones of when we were 12 and said we'd be each other's maids of honor, or of texts from you saying you were busy or tired, or of seeing you in the hallway acting like a total stranger even though you knew me better than I know myself.
10. I wish you were here.