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Y'know, I really hope I can pull off the cool mysterious deep writer persona. That'd be sick.

Message to Readers

Okay I promise I'm done reposting this. I kept making edits. Oops


May 8, 2019


Dearest beloved,
I will listen to the song that makes sense to no one but us. 
I will hold you close and let nothing hurt you.
I cannot shield you from all the pain in the world, but I promise to take on the damage with you. 
You will not be alone. 

We have gone through times of drifting apart. 
Getting bad. 
Crying and alone, not there for you.
Not there for me.

Maybe it's sorting ourselves out.
But I hope you know:
I will never drift too far,
because sisters are a lifetime thing. 

I never want to weigh on you too heavy.
My brain is getting worse. 
I think you feel the same.
I promise to let down my walls to you.
I know it's hard for you to do the same, but try.

I know the weight gets heavy for you. 
Maybe you can't let me take it from you, but I will hold your hand and brush away your tears. 

My love for you is unlike any other.
I want to make you feel okay.
I can't take away all the hurts, but if I can make it better, then that's all my goal is. 

I know my messiness and insecurity can make me a bit annoying. 
Maybe even more than a bit.
But I hope you haven't drifted too far.

I scare myself with millions of thoughts.
Losing you is one I cannot bear. 

I always feel like a broken record.
The clingy, needy one.
Scared of independence.
I'm the one afraid of losing the relationship.
There's millions of reasons I can think of.
I'm sorry. 

I do not want to weigh you down. 
I want to uplift you.
I want to see you achieve your dreams and reach your goals.

I see you hurt an heal and hurt.
It feels dark, it feels heavy.
Your talents are taking you places, because you have a passion.

If we do drift a part, and we do move on, just know I love you.
You will grow and bloom beautifully. 
And all I can be is grateful.
I am grateful. 
You are beautiful.
You are the word beautiful explored in ever meaning and explanation. 

because you care. 
You have compassion and you help.
You are selfless. Maybe I sound like a stupid suck up. 
Whatever, this isn't an apology poem.

I admire you, that's why you matter to me.
Because of what you do, who you choose to be.
It's hard to keep choosing to be the kind of person you are.


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