Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Peer reviews needed! Let me know your thoughts on this piece.
You have a great and really developed style of writing, and it shows. Your essays have begun to vary from the traditional format, which is GREAT! I loved reading your piece; it was easy to follow, and I finished with a clear understanding of what your goal was.
You take the food we eat, point us in the direction of allergies, and explain the issues faced by people with food allergies. It really is about something "more than food" -- but at the same time, it's only about food (allergies).
Some examples of how people accidentally heighten stress and anxiety for those with food allergies. Since I do actually have an allergy (ish, it's really an intolerance) I immediately understood what you were talking about, but the average reader might want some more information on that.
*Chomps down on the hook* It's a great introduction/hook! I immediately understand why you personally care about this issue.
Carry on! You've got a great style and more than enough passion to drive the words home.
Hi! I loved your essay!
If you're wondering why a solid third of this essay is highlighted..... I've been writing college-level essays, and your essay really reminded me of them! I love helping people improve things, especially when they have such a strong base to build on, and when I read this essay that's what I started doing.
I'm sorry if this is an overload of comments!!!
Also, side note: I have Celiacs, so I understand exactly where you're coming from here. Several of my friends also have food allergies, and I think many of us feel the same way. You're not alone. We're all in this together.