Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is a part of a story I am writing for school. If anyone has any notes I would be very grateful.
I love how this started out in a palace with kings and princes and two hooded figures. Just these words will make me practically hug myself with delight. I love the setting and where this story is going. Your descriptions and comparisons were also great. They weren't too compkicated and didn't bore you but they were beautiful and gave me a clear picture of what was going on.
The one thing I would like to say is that I think you should introduce the prince a bit earlier on. There is no need to reveal who he is but perhaps just mention him. So that when the reader is told his thoughts they are not left wondering who he is, how he came to be in the palace and what he is doing there. Perhaps where you mention that "the second figure knelt in a sweeping curtsey" , you could continue to say "towards the king, who was seated on his high and mighty throne. Miles stood next to the king, silent, as was expected of him." Or something like that. Just so Miles is also introdu ed to the picture.
I can't wait to read more of this story. It has me captivated. I want to know more about this world, their prejudice of fairies and life in the palace. I know you said this was a school thing but could you please continue the story here as well because I would really love to read more. Great job, by the way!