Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The subject matter of the piece itself is what draws the reader into the piece. Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump, two people who you'd rarely see in the same sentence, are compared and the author makes the argument that the mediums the two candidates use to communicate their beliefs
The writer approaches his topic in the manner of a moderate democrat, who heavily opposes Trump and finds Bernie Sanders's policies to be unrealistic and seemingly "bogus."
The author takes a logical yet opinionated approach in his argument. The author appears to feel passionately in his belief, and uses outside sources and facts to prove his point. And while the facts are sometimes unconvincing, taken together they urge the reader to follow the author's lead.
I, as a reader, never felt truly compelled to agree with the author. Perhaps I felt unconvinced because the article is devoid of emotion. The only spurts of emotion come in through the authors apparent frustration with the candidates.
While there were some moments of discord and awkwardness, they were sparse and had no major impact on the piece in general.
Wow. Your ability to use words in a intellectual yet humble way was on full display. That skill, using high-level words-- or rather words that the common person might not know, like "pejorative" and others--is hard to master without coming across as arrogant, but you never appeared to have a superiority complex (And for example, when a writer uses "advanced' vocabulary she can often appear arrogant, as if she is trying to tell you that she knows more--you avoided this). Your writing ability far surpasses your age, at least from what I know about your age, and you should just try to hone your skills a little more.
Despite your excellent writing abilities, there were some minor mistakes and edges that can smoothed out in your piece.
Sentence structure is just as, if not more, important then the words you use. You know the words, but you don't seem to know the structure. Organizing and arranging your ideas or which ways are more effective than others is a critical tool in the writer's arsenal. Now, many of your sentences felt just about the same size and followed a similar pattern. Remember, there is no harm in variety.
A good form of variety is merger. Sometimes, two sentences feed off of each other to get better, and you can connect the two with a colon, semi-colon, dash, or a conjunction and a comma. You may want to try this with some of your sentences.
I mentioned earlier that some of your facts failed to compel me. The most notable instance of this was with the phrase "8% of Sanders supporters would vote for Trump over Hillary Clinton."
That number never wowed me. 8% is not an astronomical number. Perhaps you should delve into why that number is important a bit more.