Peer Review by Hanan Adi (Germany)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

Afraid of Falling; A Very Honest Paragraph On How I Feel

By: AudienceOfOne


Lately, I've been feeling confused. I'm growing up, and it scares me. If I could wish for anything, if a genie offered me just one request, I would ask for time to slow down. I don't want to grow up and have all these responsibilities. I am afraid of all of the decisions I have to make. My family has protected me all these years, and I wish I could stay behind their shield. I'm going into high school, and all these friends that I have made over the years might not stay. Some may still hang around, others may choose their own route. I'm afraid I'm not going to make the right choices, find the right people. I want to make my parents proud, my family proud...and myself proud. I don't want to fail, but at the same time I don't want to become so overwhelmed with succeeding that I forget what it's like to live. I feel like a baby bird, trapped in it's nest, wanting to fly, but to afraid to fall. Confusion has taken over my brain. I want to choose the right path, but there are so many, it's hard to know what is the right one-what classes are good, what people to hang out with, what sports to choose. It's a terrifying mess. But, I don't have a genie. I don't even get one wish. Time is going to keep moving, and either for better or worse, I'm along for the ride. One way or the other, I'm going to have to jump from my nest. 
All I can hope, is that I will fly.

Message to Readers

Hey guys! Haven't posted in awhile. I hope some people can relate to this statement. I've really been feeling this way a lot lately. I'm hoping that time will run it's course and somehow I will make the right choices. Anyway, happy writing!

Peer Review

The analogy of your situation to that of a fledgling in a nest not merely a poetic, but also a truly apt one to describe how you (and many others your age) feel. By using such a metaphor, I feel you make it easy for anybody of any age or walk of life to understand how you feel. That is a powerful tool in any writing.

This is clearly a deeply personal confession, and I feel touched that you were so brave as to share it with everybody. I do not think you need to deepen any ideas, as you are, of course, free to tell only as much or as little as you feel ready to. But I do want you to know that I feel somehow proud of you for being so honest. Openness, paired with eloquence in one's self-expression (as described above), is truly a rare gift.

Reviewer Comments

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts so candidly. I am sure there are many more young writers out there than you suspect who can relate exactly to this confession. You are a skillful writer with lots of heart. Stay strong and keep writing!