Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I loved how the numbers symbolized (at least to me) the steps that the main character was taking on her way to school. The plot developed pretty well, and I enjoyed how the piece was serious and simple at the same time--that's my favorite kind of writing.
I'd like to know a little more about the character's personality and more intimate feelings about the other characters because I like to have a good idea of what's going on in someone's head. Maybe some thoughts or opinions of the character would be nice, or some body language that suggests what they're thinking.
I love how the story started out so serious and intriguing, and ended with a girl walking to school in the rain. The whole thing was very captivating and left me wanting more. I would proof-read the story a little closer to check up on some tine grammatical and spelling error, but other than that, great job!!