r|A|i|N

United States of America

"ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which i will not put."

Message to Readers

kind of about the shit i go through when i talk to people
feel free to share constructive criticism!

SOCIAL ≠ SURVIVAL

May 6, 2019

FREE WRITING

13
    “I don’t know…”
    Eyes bored into a drooping scalp; face met foor, face met face met floor.  Hands shook in navy pockets.  Gray eyes stared. Lips were licked.
    “What?”
    “Sorry?”
    AND THE FIRE RUBBED THE STREETS––CRUMBLING CORPULENT STREETS WIDE AS SUNBEAMS.  AND SHE SCREAMED.
    Eyes raised (what bravery!), looked over shoulders––great angular masses, clefts like cliffs truculently cutting a still sky.
    “Um––”
    AND THE FACES WERE INCREDULOUS, BLANK AS PASTEL PAINTS ON CHAOTIC CANVAS.  AND SHE SCREAMED.
    Tacitly the two stared at the tiled flooring.
    “Sorry, anyway––”
    All was left, and as acquaintance walked away lungs burned and heaved, lungs punctured and puked.  Fingers massaged face, massaged bones and eyes red as sunset.
    AND THE GLASS BURST LIKE BOMBS AS SHARPENED HANDS PLUNGED, WRECKED, LEFT FOR DEAD THOSE WATERY CHIPS OF SHREDDED TRANSPARENCY.  OH, HOW IT HURT.
    Don’t talk to me don’t talk to me.
    Blank face tried best to be impervious.  The world enjoyed pain, laughing at the fool in derisive repetition.  Nails were bitten; heads were pounded.
    AND SHE LAY IN THE CENTER OF THE STREET AND SHE SOBBED AND HER SCREAMS STABBED THE AIR.  AND THE CARS ROARED, THEY ROLLED HER CARCASS AGAINST THE MIDNIGHT. AND IT HURT.

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6 Comments
  • r|A|i|N

    @artificialaorta thank you so much! that means a lot.


    4 months ago
  • artificialaorta

    i've been thinking for almost a day about how to properly formulate my praise for this. maybe i should think for a bit more because nothing i say will make any kind of justice to how ridiculously well done and completely achieved this piece feels, but i'll try my best now.
    your play with duality, even on a visual sense (inward thinking vs external actions, lowercase vs capitalized writing, even playing with two distinct tones in lowercase vs capitalized wrtng!) is masterful. i think i can see why the reviewer said this was 'chaos, perfected', but to me, this is structure, perfected. it is woven so deeply into the fabric of this piece that you don't even see it - but it's there, and it works genially, and that's what all structurally playful pieces should strive towards. it allows you to perfectly capture this feeling of being in-between worlds, of the quietness of outside and the loudness of inside of anxiety, panic attacks. the capitalized parts read almost as extracts of a prophecied end-of-the-world situation, and I think that is the coolest bit of writing here.
    if i tried to pick a couple of sentences which i liked, i would just copy and paste the entire text here so i'm not going to.
    thank you for making this! i can't wait to see more of this kind of writing (hopefully) published one day


    4 months ago
  • Pi_Pen

    Beyond words.


    7 months ago
  • Calling4Rain

    This is incredible. Amazing piece. I know this feeling, and I love how well you expressed it.


    7 months ago
  • timtam.9

    Beautiful.


    7 months ago
  • mason wong

    It is a very good story!!!!


    7 months ago