Peer Review by micahbENG (United States)

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How Does Social Media Affect Teenagers?

By: MadisonTGCL

   Teens, on average, spend about 9 hours a day using media (Wallace).  They are constantly confronted with seeing celebrities, models, and peers posing for a picture that look good on the internet.  However, the viewer will feel like he/she has to look that way in order to post a picture at the beach on Facebook, or a picture by the pool on Instagram.  Teens are constantly judged and criticized solely on their appearance.  “The latest hot graduation gift is breast enlargement surgery” (Pritchard).  These teens and young adults have been so closed-minded on their definition of pretty, that they will go through a painful surgery to “fit in” or to be “normal”.  
        Media has driven teens to developing life threatening eating disorders such as anorexia, Bulimia nervosa, Binge-eating disorder, Purging disorder, and Night eating syndrome (NEDA).  The “media does indeed contribute [to the cause of body dissatisfaction] and that exposure to and pressure exerted by media increase[s] body dissatisfaction and disordered eating” (NEDA).  Eating disorders are most commonly found in early adulthood because of the long, horrendous upbringing of “thin” and “normal” throughout childhood, teen, and adolescent years.
        Teens are being bullied because they do not look like the models in a magazine or other girls or boys on billboards.  Jordan Underwood contributed her story to TeenInk about how her peers bullied her online and in school because she was fat.  Her classmates said things to her such as, “Yo fat Boom Boom ur so fat NASA orbits satellites around you,” and, “Hey were you baptized in Sea World?”. Jordan definitely wasn’t the only person who was bullied because of her weight.  In fact, “58 percent of boys and 63 percent of girls [in high school are] experiencing daily teasing, bullying or rejection because of their size” (Stevelos).
        Not only can social media affect a person negatively, but it can enlighten and inspire people positively. One in five teens can say that they feel good about themselves after they see other people’s photos on social media (Wallace).  Many teens and tweens say that when they post a selfie on Instagram, Facebook, snapchat, etc. they receive many positive comments such as, “you’re beautiful” (Masio).
        Social Media has an impact on every teenager. Whether they are bullying, being bullied, suffering an eating disorder, and/or getting plastic surgery to look “more normal”, the people will always be judging them based off of their looks.  It’s inevitable, but most importantly, it is dangerous because teenagers’ lives are at risk for the way that they feel on social media.

                                                        Works Cited
"At Issue: Teens and Cosmetic Surgery." At Issue: Teens and Cosmetic Surgery. 2016. Web. 16
    Nov. 2016.

"Fat Girl Problems." Fat Girl Problems. Web. 16 Mar. 2016.

"Media, Body Image, and Eating Disorders | National Eating Disorders Association." Media,
    Body Image, and Eating Disorders | National Eating Disorders Association. Web. 16
    Mar. 2016.

"Obesity Action Coalition » BULLYING, Bullycide and Childhood Obesity." Obesity Action
    Coalition BULLYING Bullycide and Childhood Obesity Comments. Web. 16 Mar. 2016.

"Teens Spend 9 Hours a Day Using Media, Report Says." CNN. Cable News Network. Web. 16
    Mar. 2016.

"The Upside of Selfies: Social Media Isn't All Bad for Kids." CNN. Cable News Network. Web.
    16 Mar. 2016.

Peer Review

They use examples that we, as teens can relate to. She uses very catchy diction to get her point across.

Social media has many negative effects on teenagers and young adults, including causing eating disorders, bullying, and feeling ugly.

There is a personal anecdote about a girl who was bullied because of her weight. This gives the paper pathos and emotionally draws in the reader.

I think in this area the writer excelled. She has a lot of different examples to convince the reader of her main point.

There is a paragraph that really does not fit in. The writer should either delete it or reword it.

You have very good idea. You should just make the writing more formal and just switch some of the grammar.

No additional comments.