Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
First of all, I really like this piece. I could not agree with you more. I love how you set a scene in the opening paragraph. I felt absorbed in the setting and liked how you hit home with the thesis at the ending. Bravo.
I don't think I have to sum up your stance- you do it very well.
Participation in child beauty pageant culture is detrimental to children’s emotional health.
The emotional appeal hits me hard. As a child, I know I wouldn't wanted to be a "failure." Also, over-sexualization is a huge problem in our current society and pageants feed into some of the problem. Again, I love this op-ed.
It seems as if you have a strong opinion on this subject. Did you possibly participate in pageants? If so, your personal story would be moving. If not, another's story would be interesting to hear too. Lastly, how can I as a reader or a community improve this issue? Is there any way this can be prevented or lessened?
Yes. The author puts the puzzle pieces together in my mind.
Keep on moving. This is powerful and extremely good. I have nothing but praise.
:) :) :)