Peer Review by Lightless (United States of America)()

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Countdown

By: Bananasaurus


PROMPT: 0-9

9
Nine seconds left. Nine seconds that might just be the rest of my life.

8
Eight seconds now. I wonder if I can defuse this in time?

7
Knife... in my pocket.

6
Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?

5
Or is it the yellow one?

4
Why don't I cut them all at the same time?

3
Sigh. Do I feel lucky?

2
Yes.

1
Here goes nothing.

0

 


Message to Readers

I'd like to hear ideas on how to make the character appear panicky at the beginning and calm down soon, while keeping the lines limited to the thoughts of a single second.


Peer Review

I'm guessing that this is someone thinking about how to defuse a bomb. There are thoughts running through their head and they have less than 10 seconds. That's what I'm getting from this narrative.


I don't think the author should add another paragraph. The narrative speaks for itself.


No additional comments.