Default avatar user thumb

Bananasaurus

India

Message to Readers

I'd like to hear ideas on how to make the character appear panicky at the beginning and calm down soon, while keeping the lines limited to the thoughts of a single second.

Countdown

May 7, 2019

PROMPT: 0-9

5
9
Nine seconds left. Nine seconds that might just be the rest of my life.

8
Eight seconds now. I wonder if I can defuse this in time?

7
Knife... in my pocket.

6
Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?

5
Or is it the yellow one?

4
Why don't I cut them all at the same time?

3
Sigh. Do I feel lucky?

2
Yes.

1
Here goes nothing.

0

 

Print

See History
1

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

3 Comments
  • Pi_Pen

    Love the tension and suspense!


    2 months ago
  • Alix Ravyn

    Awesome! To make the character sound more panicked you could end their thoughts with "?!" instead of just a question mark? For example "I wonder if I can defuse this in time?!"


    2 months ago
  • JCWriter

    This is so good! To make it feel a little more panicky in the beginning you could try breaking up the sentences into shorter, choppier ones. Still––this is great.


    2 months ago