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Message to Readers
I like how contemplative this piece is. I can tell that these words are built on long and thoughtful self reflection. The poem, to me, is also a really great message of hope. It can be motivating to someone's vision of the perfect world articulated in poetry.
It's nice to know your vision for the world and to be able to visualise what perfection looks like, but something that could add further depth to your ideas would be how to achieve this. The concept of a utopia has been explored forever because the idea is very interesting. This interest stems from the fact that a perfect world is so easily achieved in theory if people were to just mature and get along, but in practice it is incredibly complicated because maturing and being good isn't easy. The depth you could explore this topic to is almost infinite, so I encourage you to reflect on it some more.
This is a really nice piece with a good subject matter. Nice job on this one.