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Message to Readers
Snapshots from everyday life in high school.
The way the author described different aspects of a whole caught my attention. Especially when you descibed the different kinds of light, like sunshine vs artificial. And of course, the ending was lovely. Beautifully done.
If the writer chooses to rewrite or edit this piece, they should look at the bleachers and hallway sections. Those both could be deepened in the idea aspect.
All in all, look at sentence structure, cut out unecessary descriptions,, and keep writing! You did a great job and I love this piece a lot.