Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is the second draft of my entry for Prompt 3: Saving Ourselves. I was able to get some very helpful and supportive criticism from an Expert Reviewer (thank you, Chris!) which I have used to, hopefully, improve upon this piece a bit. Please let me know what you think of it, and of the title! Thank you! :)
I loved how your story was personal, which made it easy to relate to the issue and follow the flow easily of the reading. As well, I truly enjoyed the piece´s structure and title. Finally, I appreciate your good use of different references and quotes which I believe helps the piece earn credibility.
I believe that readers around their teenage years would be most impacted by this piece as it directly relates to them and the language seems to be aimed at a younger audience. I believe this piece is very moving and has a profound impact on the reader because it allows one to be transported to the situation.
I would personally like to know more about the dust situation as that was what shocked me the most about this piece.
Your writing style is very good and easy to read, you have a talent for keeping the reader hooked on the story and I believe you have a real shot at winning!
I would recommend limiting a bit more the use of the 'I' as it was repeated several times, but beyond that, all good!