Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I'm not new to the writing game but I've never had people my age critique me. So be nice lol..... but be honest. Please.
I liked your strong personality.
I feel that the essay was lacking the element of informing the reader or compelling them to take action. However, the writer’s beliefs were very direct and the piece was pretty linear.
An expansion on how climate change is causing/influencing disease would be interesting.
You have a strong voice! Keep developing it, and keep sharing your ideas, I like that you are so strong-minded and firm in your ideas!
I would omit the first part of the piece because it seems irrelevant to the rest of the piece, and to the topic.