Peer Review by YayaZ (United States)

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Tick Tock, Wall Clock

By: Harlow


FREE WRITING

I search the room
feverishly 
for any sign of life 
in the near-dead herd
of testing children. 
I find nothing
but
the 
slow
steady
maddening 
ticking 
of the wall clock. 
Tick-tock!
says the wall clock
Don’t be late now!
I hate that clock. 
 


Message to Readers

Tick-tock children! Read before it’s gone! (-:
All seriousness, enjoy. I just wanted to share my newfound wall clock hatred


Peer Review

The formatting and humor of this piece are delightful! It seems that the classroom clock is the bain of your existence. The silence of the "near-dead heard" of children puts you on edge, but it's when you realize that the clock is the only other moving entity in the room that you truly panic.


Why does the clock say "Don't be late now"? Is it telling you not to be late in completing your exam? It would be nice if you expounded upon what type of room you were in? Does this room have posters on the walls, whiteboards, or wooden desks? Creating a sense of setting will help your readers to better visualize the sight of your anxiety?


Reviewer Comments

I love how the wall clock is talking to you in the piece. Its responses are cheeky. It knows that it has the ultimate power over your fate and does not seem to want to let you forget that. Your final sentence "I hate that clock" is a fitting close to such an engaging piece. Well done!