Peer Review by YayaZ (United States)

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That morning

By: EAurora


FREE WRITING

That morning, gold leaks into
her window and pours like silk
across her aching eyelids. That morning,
she wakes and basks in the caress of
a fresh day, steps out into an age of
glint and green and throws the white sheets
of her arms towards the atmosphere.

That morning, she paints her darkness in
vivid colours across the sky, watches smoke
seep from chapped lips and swirl into mist,
banished to another subconscious;
it couldn't belong to her, not that morning.
That morning, her lungs proclaim to the open moors
and dare them to fill her with anything but air.

That morning, she tips seeds into the
yearning soil and breathes in crystal emptiness,
thanking this new world for all it has
given her and all it has taken away.


Message to Readers

Escapril Day 12 - spring cleaning


Peer Review

The way that this piece begins delights me: "gold leaks into her wind and pour like silk across her aching eyelids." I've never thought of the sunlight as leaking before and pouring over my eyes like soft silk.


I would like to know the significance of "that morning." You've led me through her waking moments, but you haven't fully revealed what makes the day so unique. Your last sentence states as follows: "thanking this new world for all it has given her and all it has taken away." This sentence leads me to believe that this person you talk about may have gone under some sort of grief. If that be the case, then the significance of "that morning" would be that she feels liberated from her griefs or burdens. If my presumptions are incorrect, then please add more hints about why "that morning" is worth writing about.


Reviewer Comments

You have a way with words. I enjoyed being able to glimpse the colorful day that the woman in your piece experienced. Thank you!