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>> Pi_Pen <<

// LGBTQ+ ally // Feminist // Gun control // Pro choice // Save the earth // Pi digit memorizer
// Debater // Agnostic //

Message to Readers

Very late part three! :P This is the final part, I'd love some feedback. Thanks for reading! :D

Cold. Too Cold. - Part Three

June 19, 2019


The wind scream as if it had been deeply injured by the bight of a vicious beast. Perhaps it had.
My question lingers in the air and stays there, shivering from the cold as I was. Tom looks me in the eye and sighs. He rolls up the few inches of his sleeves as if he were feeling incredibly hot. As if there were a scorching sun that cooks some soft sand beneath him instead of a white blaze in the sky that did nothing but match the snow.
He nods his head towards the barn subtly and turns away. He walks speedily through the field, and I briskly follow him.
The old barn door opens slowly. It was heavy, I remembered. Incredibly so. It was old wood that you would have expected to have broken and cracked, that you would have expected to become light after being worn for so long. But it hadn't. As soon as I walk in, and the piles of hay hit me with an unbearable flood of allergy.

"I'll wait outside," I suggested, in an attempt to refrain from sneezing and destroying the composure that I had attempted to maintain up until then (though I knew that it had most likely been unravelled already).

He nods slowly and climbs up a ladder to the second floor.
He walks to the crack in the wall through which the cold was able to insinuate itself and to rapidly invade the small barn.
There is a second layer of wood between the barn and the harsh outside. Tom reaches between the two slats of wood and extracts a thin chain.

He climbs down and exits the barn. Exhaling annoyedly, he hands it to me.

It's a small scrap of paper.
Its edges are torn, the words scribbled haphazardly on it are now covered with dirt. I brush it off.
I don't remember the context in which he had given me this piece of paper, nor do I remember the one in which he insisted on taking it back. Nor do I know why I so strongly needed to precipitate here today to reclaim it.

I doubt I will ever return here.
The wind blows sadness into my ears and snatches at me.

I re-read the piece of paper for the millionth time.
All the times before, I had read it with love pouring from my heart, but now it's very much different.

"It's cold. Too cold, but while you are here I'll keep you warm."

Once all I read was the last clause.

But now all I manage to read is, "It's cold. Too cold."
Thanks to some writing advice I've received from various people such as Paperbird and RainandSonder. I may have used some of it, thank you so much for helping me improve!

VERY LATE PART 3. XP I hope you like it! :D


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  • June 19, 2019 - 5:29am (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • r|A|i|N

    ackkkkk this is so good!!! i love love love the character dynamic & all of your lovely descriptions. always looking forward to reading this series.
    my only advice—consider omitting a few adverbs. one thing i notice about your writing style is that you use adverbs for almost every description. maybe mix it up a little—instead of saying “slowly”, talk about tom’s expression or his demeanor. just an idea, though—i really love this. can’t wait to read more!

    about 1 year ago