Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The personal beginning, "Ah . . . technology," is engaging, yet the real eye-grabber is the word "supposedly." I get interested to find out how or how not technology makes the world a better place.
You clearly prove that physical books are not in decline.
The quotes and anecdotes you include, such as the Guardian experiment, are particularly convincing. They are real-life events that support your claim. I also thought that the results were interesting.
To me, nothing is missing. But I really like your anecdotes and I wish you could include more of them.
Yes, your structure works well. Your subtopics are clearly stated and you give sufficient examples to back up your claims. Your conclusion is rather short and informal, but maybe you meant for that to match your conversational introduction.
Your eager, semi-formal voice is engaging. The examples you include to support your claims are logical and interesting, and your research really adds to your piece. Nice work on citing your research sources as well. Good luck in the competition!
Good day, Milady.
I have a few suggestions in highlights for you as you continue working on your piece. Thank you for sharing your message of hope for us book-lovers!
Thank you also for a very encouraging review on my piece, "Words to the Walking Dead." It is warming to know someone enjoys my work and cares to tell me so. Thank you for stopping by me, and please come again, Milady!