Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I had a bit of a hard time finding your thesis in your introductory paragraph, but I definitely understood your view on things for the whole of the essay.
I really liked your introductory paragraph, especially the last lines about turning on the lights and adjusting the lense--very appropriate, considering the subject. :)
Your evidence links very nicely to your thesis. The evidence didn't quite blend with the paragraph in places, but overall I could follow it.
In general, I liked this essay a lot. I think you have a lot of good things to say on the subject. Your evidence is solid for the most part, and your thesis is backed up well.